Love languages? Some people speak these languages fluently and pay attention to others’ needs. Some people laugh at the whole idea. And of course, there are some people who just do not care. I care!
The 5 Love Languages is an older book written by Gary Chapman. He is a marriage counselor who identified the five love languages: affirmation, time, gifts, service, and touch.
Examples of each
- Affirmation: being told “I love you!” “You are precious to me!” You look great in that . . . ” “Thank you for . . . “
- Touch: holding hands, a hug, a kiss, sitting close enough together to actually touch, having your love one reach out for you . . .
- Time: doing things together, taking time to just talk, taking a walk, going anywhere together, making time for each other . . .
- Service: having someone do things for you, doing my laundry, sharing cooking responsibilities, stopping at the grocery, picking up my book at the library
- Gift: a bouquet on my desk, the kind of ice cream I like, a small chocolate . . .
How does it work? We each have a primary language, which may be recognized or not. The more we recognize and ‘speak’ the other’s language, the stronger and more satisfying the relationship. An example, friends of mine, a couple who had been together for 40+ years, loved each other, but the wife was not happy. She bought the book, liked it so well she bought it for her children. Together, they recognized that the husband’s language was service; his wife did most everything for him so he was happy in the relationship. The wife’s language was, and is, touch. The husband didn’t like to touch; it was a foreign language. Once they recognized it, they worked on it together and helped him learn the very foreign language. After working on this together, they were both happier in their relationship.
Several years ago, one of my students gave a speech on the Five Love Languages. In the speech, she showed how we store love in and around ourselves, and how it makes a difference. The more love we have in our lives, the more we have to share with others. We can recognize our own love language and let others know what we need.
Personally, I am bi-lingual, affirmations and touch. I receive a lot of loving affirmations, hugs and kisses. And, I give them freely, as many of you know.
This works in all relationships. Try it out?
Blessings and have a great day! Cheryl